Desire for power, wounded ego, sadism and blind idealism: how the roots of cruelty creep into our emotional, social and professional lives, conditioning our relationships, work and civil coexistence

by Marco Arezio

Cruelty isn't only manifested in major crimes or extreme conflicts. It often lives in everyday gestures, in silent thoughts, in the choices of those who put their own interests before respect for others. Whether in the family, at work, or in social relationships, evil can take a thousand forms, sometimes subtle and almost invisible.

But where does it really come from? What are the psychological factors that drive human beings to hurt, control, or destroy others?

Explanations are never simple, but we can identify some recurring motivations: the lust for possession, narcissistic insecurity, the pleasure of dominance, blind faith in an ideal. If analyzed clearly, these dynamics reveal not only the fragility of those who engage in them, but also the possibility of breaking them through awareness, empathy, and responsibility.

Profit at any cost: the economic face of cruelty

The desire to accumulate wealth, prestige, or material possessions is a powerful and often legitimate lever. However, when it turns into an obsession, it can become one of the roots of evil. This happens whenever one is willing to trample on another just to gain an advantage.

In the world of work, the cult of results can lead entrepreneurs and managers to ignore the dignity of their employees, exploit low-cost labor, and evade environmental or tax regulations. In relationships, this dynamic manifests itself when a partner is chosen for convenience, status, or financial advantage, masking calculation behind a veneer of affection.

Finally, society is witnessing growing inequality fueled by those who ruthlessly accumulate capital, generating structural poverty. This type of evil doesn't require shouting or violence: it's cold, rational, justified by numbers and targets.

The fragile ego that becomes aggressive

A second driver of cruelty is threatened egotism. This is the psychological mechanism by which an individual, feeling belittled or attacked, reacts with anger or revenge to reestablish their sense of superiority. It's typical of those with unstable self-esteem: they appear confident, but a contrary opinion, failure, or rejection is enough to trigger destructive behavior.

In the family, it can emerge in parents who cannot tolerate their children's independence, or in partners who react with jealousy and manipulation. In the social sphere, it manifests itself in disproportionate reactions to criticism or exclusion, even to the point of bullying and ostracism. At work, it produces bosses who fear the competence of subordinates and isolate them, or colleagues who sabotage those who emerge so as not to feel threatened.

This kind of evil is rooted in insecurity. But rather than confront it, those who experience it prefer to project their own fragility onto others, fueling a spiral of mistrust and pain.

Everyday sadism: when hurting brings pleasure

Although it's often associated with serious disorders, sadism can also exist in mild but pervasive forms. It's that tendency, more widespread than you might think, to derive subtle satisfaction from making others suffer, humiliating them, or watching them fall. And everyday life offers ample opportunities for it.

At work, it manifests in bosses who delight in meting out punishments, ridiculing an employee during meetings, or burdening anyone who dares to contradict them with work. In private life, it manifests in relationships where one partner repeatedly inflicts minor verbal or psychological wounds, simply to reaffirm their power. In social groups, sadism disguises itself as irony, exclusion, and judgment, especially on social networks, where anonymity facilitates aggression.

On a psychological level, sadism often reflects a need for control, a response to fear of powerlessness or repressed anger. However, left unchecked, it becomes a prison that impedes empathy and weakens bonds.

Idealism and Cruelty: The Danger of "Good" Intentions

One of the most insidious forms of evil is that which feeds on ideals. When a person believes so strongly in a cause that they justify any means to achieve it, they pave the way for intolerance. Doing evil while thinking they're doing good is the tragic paradox of history and everyday life.

In couples, this manifests itself in wanting to "correct" one's partner in the name of love. In families, it manifests itself in sacrificing the child's well-being to impose a certain outlook on life. In society, it manifests itself in excluding those who are different in the name of "correct" values. In companies, it manifests itself in justifying questionable practices to defend the brand's identity, the founder's vision, or long-term goals.

Idealism becomes dangerous when it erases human complexity, when it reduces people to tools or obstacles. In the name of progress, silent injustices can be committed that shatter lives, relationships, and trust.

Dehumanization and indifference: systemic cruelty

Perhaps the most widespread cruelty today is systemic, made possible by dehumanization. When we no longer see others as individuals but as numbers, categories, or enemies, we lose the ability to empathize. This is how institutional injustices, corporate abuses, and everyday discrimination arise.

In the workplace, this happens when employees are treated as mere "costs," to be reduced, transferred, or cut. In public life, it occurs whenever we ignore the suffering of others because they don't directly affect us. In relationships, dehumanization is expressed in indifference, coldness, and treating others as if they were mere functions: the parent who drives to school, the partner who cooks, the friend who listens.

Recovering the human gaze means recognizing the subjectivity of others, their complexity, their dignity. It is a revolutionary act, especially in a society accustomed to efficiency, speed, and simplification.

How to Prevent Evil in Everyday Life

Understanding the roots of cruelty is the first step to combating it. But concrete tools are needed to transform the environment, relationships, and institutions. In companies, this means promoting empathetic leadership, valuing emotional development, and creating spaces for listening and discussion. It's necessary to reward not only performance but also collaboration, transparency, and respect.

In the private sphere, it is essential to cultivate authentic communication, the ability to apologize, and the ability to recognize one's own limits. In romantic relationships, daily kindness, embracing disagreement, and the ability to support one another are effective antidotes to cruelty. In social life, too, we can act by choosing not to fuel hatred, not to spread hasty judgments, and to oppose verbal and symbolic violence.

Preventing evil doesn't mean denying conflict, but learning to manage it without dehumanizing others. It's a long process, but it's possible.

Conclusion: Choose humanity

All of us, to varying degrees, are exposed to the temptation of cruelty. Sometimes out of self-defense, sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes out of a need for recognition. But what distinguishes us as human beings is not the absence of destructive impulses, but rather the ability to recognize, contain, and transform them.

Only by cultivating a culture of listening, respect, and shared responsibility can we build a more just future. Evil, like indifference, spreads easily. But so can healing. It depends on each of our daily choices. At home, at work, in relationships: every gesture can be the seed of a different culture, founded not on fear or domination, but on understanding and the value of human life.

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